Hello baby...

It's your birthday.

Grab a coffee, this is long and be prepared to come back in a couple of days time, as no doubt I will have added bits I have forgotten!

So, I could just type a whole heap of words and you may just get the picture of what the moment was actually like.

Awesome, mindblowing, beautiful, amazing, nervousness, emotional, happy, divine, delicious, wonderful, well I could go on forever but nothing will ever describe the past couple of days.

I arrived in Sunny Karratha just over 2 weeks ago for a four week stay. I had been asked by a dear friend whom I actually met on the net a few years ago (*read* Fran, the one who got so pissed at my house one night, she missed her flight home the next day!) to attend the much longed for birth of her 4th baby. She had decided to have a home birth after 3 previously easy births but due to the fact that there are no independent midwives practising in Karratha, Fran decided to go it alone and only have the support of her dear husband, myself and her darling children.

Now of course I was leaving behind my 5 gorgeous children and my darling husband and this alone was going to be a challenge but in hindsight (and its a wonderful thing) that was nothing compared to the challenge on the 31st of August.

We spent the time leading to the birth trying to keep occupied and one lovely afternoon we sat out the back and did a plaster belly cast of her beautiful bellyfruit whilst sipping champagne.

Back to Fran's divine kidlets, I had only just said to her over the weekend that my stay here has been made somewhat easier with them around. They are all similar ages to mine and if it weren't for their divine cuddles and kisses, I don't think I would have survived! Also if it weren't for Geoff being my drinking partner, I would not have lasted either. (Although, it did get us into trouble every now and then! :p) What I am really trying to say is that I missed my divine husband and gorgeous children a hell of a lot!

The past weekend was wonderful, Fran and Geoff took the kids to the circus, I stayed home and did some sewing and had a little bit of me time. We enjoyed a lovely BBQ for tea and at dinner of course their was the usual questions about the impending arrival of the baby from the kids. I was amazed at how much interest they were showing but I guess they are all that bit older than when I had Lucy and my kids were more interested in the fact that they had a real live baby bjorn!

Fran had an uneasy night on Saturday night but did it alone, umm hello, that is what I am here for sweetheart!!!

Anyway, on Sunday morning we listened to the Labour of Love CD and I gave her back a good rub for about 40 mins with some oils. She said it relieved her backache straight away and then Geoff and I used the Rebozo to try to sift this little one into the right position. I had palped a couple of days before and the head seemed to be as engaged as it was most likely to get before labour but we came to the conclusion that maybe the little head could have been flexed?

Time for some sightseeing, off to Point Sampson and what a lovely little part of the world that is! The landscape on the way out there, which I guess was only about half an hour was pretty similar to the landscape on the way out to ElQuestro, which happens to be my most favourite part of the world! We found a shady spot under the trees and enjoyed the gorgeous weather whilst waiting 2 and a half hours for some delicious fresh fish and chips and a couple of beverages. It was great to watch the kids run and play and to gather my own thoughts whilst chatting the afternoon away.

Now, apparently on the way home, Fran had a big contraction and it was then that she "knew" that labour was indeed imminent but of course, Geoff and I were not privvy to that information until about 9 pm that night just as we were getting into idol! Just before we were told however, I looked at her a few times and she was sitting upright in the beanbag and had a look of concentration on her face. I stole a glance another couple of times and wondered quietly to myself if she was close.

Due to previous labours being very quick, as soon as Geoff and I were told we though it best to get things more organised than what they were. The birth pool was brought into the lounge room, pumped up a little more and the hose put in, the basket of birth essentials was laid out on the table, the oil burner fired up again and then both of us set about massaging her thighs and belly with clary sage, to the tune of some shocking singers on idol!


Ahh the contraction master, well that certainly wasn't around during my births but anyway it was a pretty accurate way to work out the timing and duration for about 30 minutes or so.

I know this was the early stages, well, OK, at the time we didn't think it was the early stages as we were only expecting a labour of an hour or so but my gosh, Fran was so graceful. She looked beautiful, she was glowing, she was smiling and the excitement was etched all over her face. Meanwhile, I am sure that my face showed just as much nervousness and trepidation as Geoff's did but I know that we were both very exited too.
Given the 20 or so births I have attended plus my own, I have always told clients to stay active, stay off the bed blah blah blah, as had Fran but funnily enough, if Fran was not lying down or standing in one spot, well it just wasn't happening. By about midnight, we all decided that it would be best to get some sleep if we could and to see what happens overnight.

They went to bed and I camped out in the lounge room rather than my room just in case she woke up and decided to try to go it alone as per the previous night.

It was a restless night for all and about 5am we decided to call it quits as far as sleep goes and just see what joy the day would bring us. The kids of course woke up fairly early, of course the kettle was on, the microwave was beeping with heat packs and there was the general hum of excitement in the lounge room that could hardly be contained.

Amazingly though, the kids watched DVDs and the 3 adults again went off to sleep, myself on the lounge, Fran on the bean bag and Geoff in bed. It was 8 am before we were up again.

Many positions were tried but again, the only thing that worked was lying down or standing up. Now I am sure from here on in, things may get a little sketchy as I will try to remember what time everything kind of happened or didn't happen, if that makes sense?

Fran returned to the comfort of her bedroom, it was dark, warm and most definitely somewhere she felt safe. We used lounge cushions, pillows and beanbags to prop her up when she needed it and tried to constantly have her feel the touch of our hands so she knew that we were indeed there if she needed us. Again, she was calm, peaceful and beautiful. Gentle breaths through each contraction, all the while we knew she was that little bit closer but to her, she still felt so far away. I knew she was becoming exhausted, it had been a fun filled weekend but add in the past few sleepless nights and it was draining her.

I suggested she kneel on the bed, I asked Geoff to stand in front of her so she could drape her arms around his neck. It was then that she let go, the tears flowed and she said that this wasn't how it was meant to be, that it was meant to be fast, that it had been too long and nothing was happening.

I am guessing that this may have been sometime close to noon, and yes, it had been a long time but I gently reminded her that this was how she wanted it.

Early on in her pregnancy, Fran had decided that she wanted a slower labour so she could be calm, so she could remember it all and saviour the moment. She wanted a peaceful birth, no intervention, no medical staff or doctors. This birth had to be on her terms and I promised her that I would make sure that she got her dream.

At this point in time, this was exactly how it was, she was labouring on her terms and I told her that she was going to succeed and give her little one a peaceful entry into this world, she was doing a wonderful job and everything was just perfect.

I left them together for a couple of moments and Geoff then helped her into the shower. At this time the watch came off and she had no idea of the length and time of anything else for the rest of the afternoon, again in hindsight probably a good thing.

A position change, the Medicine Woman CD, myself holding her hand whilst Geoff rubbed her back and obviously her tears from earlier, all helped to get her to the transition period, where she wanted the pool and she wanted it now.

Levi, wonderful Levi, held the hotpack firmly on his mummy's back whilst Geoff set about to bring the pool back to 37.5 degrees and I fluffed about with other bits and pieces. I went back into her room where she said, she needed to get in, regardless of the temp and she was already almost leaping off the bed! Levi, just continued to watch in awe and the real precious moments would come later and they are visions that will be etched into my heart for a long time.

Fran lay in the pool, the temp wasn't quite right and the buckets came out as the idea of the hose draining water out wasn't quick enough. Funny how it was Fran in her trance that suggested the bucket and Geoff and I quickly grabbed the good old Tupperware bowl and placed it before her face! We thought she wanted to vomit Dammit!

OK, so the pool quickly became warm enough and and Fran had been in there for about 15 minutes and so here is the story about the Rose Quartz. (I will tell you another story about this powerful crystal at a later time but this is mind blowing!)

"Rose quartz can gently draw away negative energy and replace it with loving vibes, it is a very powerful healer and can strengthen the physical heart and circulatory system."

A couple of years ago, Fran received a rose quartz from a friend who also freebirthed and Fran had attended, the crystal, among others was in a little bag on the table. I asked if she would like me to put a crystal in the pool with her and she said yes, grab the rose quartz. We popped it in the pool and less than 30 seconds later, as I was placing the bag back on the table, she exclaimed that her waters had broken, check them!

This was where the word nervousness played its part from the start of this post. I was excited about attending this little ones birth, I was honoured to have been asked but the 2 things that I was most nervous and worried about were the colour of her amniotic fluid and also the cord being wrapped around the neck. To my delight, and of course to theirs, the fluid was clear! Lots of vernix, but other than that, it was all systems go and I myself was over my own little personal hurdle.Fran however had a little bit more to go.

During the whole time, I was also amazed that Levi, Eden and Jesse were happy doing their own little thing. I will admit that initially, I was worried about the whole "mummy mode" thing were Fran may regress during her labour but I needn't have been concerned about it because they were honestly just wonderful! Aside from the, Is the baby here?, When is the baby coming?, Is it there yet? questions, they were happy just leaving mum alone to do her thing.

As I have said previously, Fran was very quiet, just the gentle sound of her breaths was all we really heard from her for the past 12 or so hours and even when she started pushing she was still very quiet but just sounding a little more primal. To me, this is the most amazing sound, this is when you know that a little one is about to make their grand entrance in to the world.

In the days leading up to labour, Fran had instructed me several times about how to guide her pushing, she felt that during her previous births, she had kind of been left to her own devices and thus sustained some tearing. Just before she started to push, I reminded her that she "had" to listen to me, and also that I did not want her to get out of the water until he was fully born.

So...the pushing, Geoff sincerely asked her if she would like to squeeze his hand, he was very sweet but Fran, well, didn't yell, but promptly said, I don't want to squeeze your fucking hand! It was funny but thank goodness for the handles on the side of the tub and also that they were glued on pretty damn well! It was after about 2 pushes, that I asked her if she minded if I took a look to be able to see if the head was there and then be able to coach her through the rest of the pushing. There was another, not yell, but determined No.

Later I found out that it was because she was worried that if there wasn't a head on view then she would have felt very disappointed and would have thought there could be hours to go.

After another couple of gutteral pushes, I just grabbed the torch anyway, I couldn't bare the thought of her tearing like last time and after all, I was under strict instructions to not let it happen again.

Sure enough, with the help of the mirror and the torch, there was the head, just there but retracting after each contraction.WOW, Fran, lots of hair, beautiful, keep going, another one just like that push, gently though, not too hard. I gave Geoff the torch, held the mirror with one hand and put my hand just on the head and hoped that she didn't push like hell. Lovely, beautiful Fran, its now time to push harder and to hold those pushes till the very end of the contraction and sure enough, that was enough to get the little one's head to crown. I grabbed a small washer to put pressure on her peri and to hold off pushing until her body had adjusted to the pressure of baby's head. It was at this time that the kids were called in to watch the much anticipated birth of their younger sibling!

One more big push and the head was out, the head of fine dark hair, the squishy little face, hello baby, you are here. I pointed out his eyes, nose and cherubic little lips to the kids. Their eyes were huge in amazement, I don't think they could quite believe it! As baby rotated ever so slightly (but not really enough) the little ears were visible and it was around about now that Jesse piped up with "I thought the baby was meant to come out of your vagina, not your bum!" I guess at the ripe old age of being nearly 5 it all looks the same! (Yeah, Yeah, I know, same, same but different!) I had to face my next fear, feel for the cord Mel, yes, there was none there! Awesome!

Fran relaxed enough to catch her breath, by now, I was arms, elbows, shoulders and upper chest in the water, but it was amazing! The next big push, came with force, and whereas normally one shoulder is delivered at a time, this little one had other ideas, he had an audience to impress and he came out all at once!

There he was, in my hands, in the bottom of the pool whilst Geoff helped Fran turn over and she lifted him up, go to mama, little one.

The room was calm, he was pulled to his mamas chest ever so gently and he took the world in. No crying, just a sight to behold. His gentle entry into the world meant a gentle soul had arrived earthside.

Oh my, there were tears, from me that is, but I am like that at a lot of births, it is always emotional and I treasure the first moments of mummy and daddy, taking in the sight of their newborn for the first time. But this time, this time it was different, I felt completely honoured to have been part of this day.

Kisses to Fran, you were amazing my dear friend and a big wet vernixy hug and a kiss to Geoff too.

There he was, in all his glory, a dear precious little man.



Welcome to the world Baby Asher Quentin born into water at home on the 31st August 2009, at 2:36pm, weighing in at 10 pounds 13 ounces.


I left the new family all together for the first time, walked outside burst into uncontrollable tears of relief for a minute and then went to get out of my wet clothes. I had worn a running singlet under a shirt and as I took it off, the vernix that had been abundant in the pool had become caught in my singlet, this then flung everywhere as I took it off. Again I had a giggle!




I know I have already said it, but to my dear friends Fran and Geoff, thankyou, thank you from the absolute bottom of my heart for allowing me to share this amazing journey with you both. You are truly wonderful people and I am sure we will remain life long friends.

Darling Asher, you my sweetheart, will always hold a special place in my heart, you are just divine and I hope to be around to see you grow into a fine young man.

Levi, Eden and Jesse, my pretend children, you guys are super and I am sure you will enjoy smothering your baby brother with lots of kisses until he is old enough to push you away!

Much love to you all!