I know, he hasnt passed away but far out, I really believe that this is so much harder than I ever thought it would be. That emptiness is back, the same feeling that I had just over nine years ago.
Again I am finding myself smiling and being happy and then I remember that he has left us and wont be back for a long time.
I need to clean up his room, throw out all his rubbish, get it ready for just in case he comes back but I cant bring myself to go in there. I am scared that if I just sit on his bed, I will start to cry again and I wont be able to stop.
He called this morning and said "Mum, I just want you to know that you can call me anytime, whenever you want". I got off the phone and cried some more.
Lachlan stayed home from school yesterday, he said he was sick but he just desperately wanted to spend some more time with the brother that he worships.
Its back here again, I feel like I did just over nine years ago.
2 comments:
Oh Mel. Those photos are just beautiful. And mate, just cry. There is nothing wrong with shedding a few (hundred) tears at this point. I can't begin to imagine how this feels for you but just know you are in my thoughts. Sending you love and hugs my friend xo
I am so sorry Mel!!! Just cry, sit on that bed and let it flow for as long as you need to!!!! No shame in that.
He is YOUR son, he is clever, he is strong, he will go his own way and he will love you and one day you will be close again.
btw those photos are gorgeous, he is a good looking lad!!!
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