Thinking out loud.

Its been a huge couple of weeks here, lots of changes, massive amounts of thinking and loads of reconnecting.

This morning I logged onto Facebook, a beautiful friend had posted a song by John Butler.


I love him but I love this song even more, for obvious reasons of course.

Now upon reading the lyrics, I didn't cry, I listened to the song first and then read the lyrics and not even a tear.

I don't want to expect too much from myself, after all, it is nearly "that" time but it is "the" time that I am usually dosing up on meds.

But I am not and I thank you, the beautiful people that surround me.

Thought I'd like to meet you,

See what you looked like,

I bet you look like your mother,

boy, you'd be shining in the light,

but your not coming out to play,

Not tomorrow or tonight,

And now I hold her crying

Yes I hold her body tight.

Yes I hold her body tight.

I was looking through some photos today, I came across a lot of his things and there were photos of Paul with him and then another by his grave whilst he was holding Lachlan. The pain is so visible and I realised that no matter what, he has always put my grief first, always without a doubt because that is him, that is his unconditional love. I couldn't even begin to count the amounts of times he has held me tightly and allowed me to sob my heart out, its more than I could honestly ever remember.

Somehow feels like your around,


even though I know your gone

and in these times when you feel so low

Aint nothing you can do

But we're still thankful for your visit

Cause we changed cause of you,

Yeah we changed cause of you

I ask you to take a listen, hear the words and just for a moment, think of someone you love and you may have lost or perhaps you too have lost a child, in any case, I am sure you can connect with this song and maybe even shed a tear...